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  Owen Hargreaves
Posted by: Fido - 04-26-2016, 08:13 PM - Forum: WBAunofficial - Replies (2)

The commentating equivalent of an arf-an-arf scarf, that biff.

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  Irrational things that are winding me up
Posted by: Baggie_Shrek - 04-26-2016, 07:59 PM - Forum: WBAunofficial - Replies (1)

The font that the numbers on the back of the Madrid shirts are written in. Especially the ridiculous number 2 and the 8 on the back of Kroos's shirt.

Whoever designed it has no clue abut aesthetics.

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  Real Madrid
Posted by: cunninghamismagic - 04-26-2016, 07:24 PM - Forum: WBAunofficial - Replies (9)

Talk about parking the bus. Barely venturing out of their own half.

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  Any software Developers out there??
Posted by: Wimatum - 04-26-2016, 07:14 PM - Forum: WBAunofficial - Replies (13)

I am in the process of purchasing a data logger that comes with free software.  I need to be able to improve the look of the actual data that is displayed (on a separate PC panel) , but I have no idea where to start.  Please PM me if you feel that you may be able to help.

PS its good to have you all back Big Grin

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  Clarkey Cat
Posted by: SausEggBagel - 04-26-2016, 05:09 PM - Forum: WBAunofficial - Replies (3)

Wants the Celtic job alledgely.

Seems not interested in going back to Chelski as assistant.

By jove he'll get proper Tamashed up Scotchland.

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  Season tickets
Posted by: col lard - 04-26-2016, 04:29 PM - Forum: WBAunofficial - Replies (24)

Have I missed anything? I'm sure we'd been asked to cough up by this time last year.  Are they waiting for a good result - to make the announcement the day after?

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  Dele Alli charged
Posted by: Bromley Baggie - 04-26-2016, 04:19 PM - Forum: WBAunofficial - Replies (7)


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  cRaPtIoN cOmPetItiOn
Posted by: SausEggBagel - 04-26-2016, 02:28 PM - Forum: WBAunofficial - Replies (11)

[Image: pochettino-pulis.jpg]

Winner gets a new back box to play with.

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Posted by: Duffmon - 04-26-2016, 02:14 PM - Forum: WBAunofficial - Replies (3)

The difference between finishing 11th and 16th. That could be one extra player over the summer.

Hopefully Baldy is impressing this fact on Pulis.

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  Board Lexicon
Posted by: k g - 04-26-2016, 01:47 PM - Forum: WBAunofficial - Replies (10)

Sometimes feel like the people on here speak a different language? Don't know your Arf from your MBO? Worry no more - this is the Bored Lexicon. Everything you need to know is right here...

*** NOTE: don't feel you have to read all the subsequent pages. Everything you need to know is in this opening post which is updated on a regular basis from suggestions posted on this thread. ***

AFI - Alan Fuggin' Irvine. Acronym swiftly adopted soon after his appointment as Head Coach in June 2014 which reflected the frustration and hostility felt by many fans overBaldy's decision. 'AFI' even made it to terrace anthem and reported in national media. Alan, to his immense credit, took it with good humour.

AH AH AH! - Sundog laughing.

Ahem - Used to inform another ponner that the post/thread they have made has already been posted. Often includes a link to the original post/thread. 

Alecan - Bryan Robson. Legendary footballer, legendary drinker. His contribution as manager (one Great Escape, one Great Surrender) divides opinion

A M B I T I O N - expressed thus to emphasise the poster's opinion that the club are not showing any.

Ambitious Dad - Fast Show inspired reference to Tony Pulis (courtesy of mancbaggie). See also HBW and TCP.

AOTS! - All over the shop! Everywhere. Often in reference to sexual relations with a highlighted individual or headlocks.

Are you new here? - Sarcastically uttered to established posters when they say something obvious about the bored. i.e. "Can't believe this thread has generated so much bitterness and petty sniping?". Response " Are you new here?".

Arf - that med me laugh.

Arrogantdeludedfisheatingsealc***s - them lot from B6.

ArryTheCunt Mk. II - Tim Sherwood. See also Tactics Timmy.

Ay it - a rhetorical blackcountryism, a question in appearance but statement in fact. 

#BackTheBerg - A hashtag used to show support for the Markus Rosenberg after Peter Odemwingie started kicking off before his infamous drive to QPR. Wasn't seen again after the 2013-14 season started. Eventually gave away his furniture to a local charity and left for Malmo where he has been scoring regularly in the Champions League FFS sake!
[Image: WBA-BackTheBerg-mk1-small.jpg]

bad bell/biff/ted, you - you're a mischievious fellow.

Badge kisser, The - former left back Paul Robinson would kiss his badge, a crime in some fans' eyes. Largely forgiven for the equaliser at the Seal Sanctuary which arguably kept us up in The Great Escape season. See also pumps fist.

Baldy - Jeremy Peace.

Ban 'Im Sid! - Jokey ( or sometimes not so jokey) request to kick a poster off for saying something seen to be bad. Refers to our old main man Sid Collins but often used even now.

Battle of Putney Bridge, The - Confrontation at The Duke's Head pub in Putney Bridge prior to a Fulham away game where BAWS tried to go toe to toe with the the 'Ist. The legend far outweighs the reality but who cares about reality...

BAWS - Former poster with the full name of BlueAndWhiteStripe. became a moderator, power went to his head, hair trigger banning button finger, known for dishing out 7 day bans up to the nuclear wipeout option of a TNB where he once blocked the entire Bristol area from accessing the site due to a mistake with the IP ranges. Had a running battle with Loyalist (see 'Ist), whom he once confronted at the Battle of Putney Bridge. Famed for his wonderful resignation letter (which no-one saved FFS sake!!), regular emails off the bored to members offering warnings (days before PMs were available) and his flounce to set up his own bored where only a couple of regulars stop him arguing with himself!

BBQ - barbecue. These are just another heat source to cook on. Petty sniping at its best: Yesterday's BBQ

BCD - The Black Country Derby.

Before pre-season - general wisdom as to when the club should ideally complete all of their (incoming) summer transfer business. See Good pre-season.

bitterness - Seeps from the very core of this bored and explodes with volcanic violence during international breaks in the domestic football calendar . The natural bedfellow of petty sniping.

Bloke under dart board with the big ears - Gloucs. Baggies in da house! Reference to this classic thread: Bloke under dart board with the big ears

Bob Monkhouse Clique - Posting formula used by ponners with a dated sense of humour. 

Bored invasion - a term from the days of Rivals when posters would occasionally decide to go and post on another club's bored with the sole intention of annoying the other club's posters. Clubs to have their bored's invaded were often selected due to inactivity on their boreds and we would leave in excess of 25 threads mostly on nom-football related matters, top 5's etc. On one such occasion, Blackpool's bored was invaded (because "we fancied a day at the seaside") and every poster who partook in the invasion got banned from there. 

Bored Legends, The - The previous ponners that became household names on previous versions of the board. Many now have successful careers on The Twatter.

Brom, The - a derivative of West Bromwich Albion used only by plastics who know nothing about football other than what Sky/Talkshite feed them or (affectionately) by ponners.

Brunteh - Chris Brunt. Great club servant with a wand for a left foot or evil lizard king? Alleged leader of The Cabal, Chris Brunt has been the true power behind the scenes sinceSOW left. HBW took the captaincy away from him shortly after becoming Head Coach - or did he? NOTHING happens at WBAFC without his say so, CapriceBaldy has to put his hand up just to go for a piss FFS sake! Suspicions abound that his influence has extended into the global political economy.

Buckleyometer - a fictitious clock that starts ticking when we go on a run of not winning, the objective being to see if we can achieve a run of defeats as disastrous as our then manager Alan Buckley presided over while trying to turn us into Grimsby reserves. One point from 14 games and brilliantly illustrated here by Baracus: 
[Image: 2hdmc94.jpg]

Bum 'im Rowley! - Rowley Baggie once made an 'up the bum and no babies' quote to which numerous posters instantly got on his case about being gay and had lots of sport with him. Sometime later, the bored was visited by a WUM from another team's bored dishing out abuse to which Baggpuss replied 'Bum Him Rowley'!

Cabal, The - a group of senior of players who allegedly ran the club when the head coaches were Pepe Mel and AFI. Their identities are shrouded in mystery except for the FACTthat their leader is Brunteh and they were aided and abetted in their ruthless quest for control by assistant coaches Keith Downing and Dean Kiely. Can they continue to exert their influence with HBW in charge?

Camp Freddy - ponner who is neither Camp nor called Freddie but pre-eminent past purveyor of plumage pomposity in Peacock Clique 

Can he head the ball? - In reference to a suggested transfer target's aerial prowess. Phrase came into common usage during di Matteo's Premier League period - every time the ball was launched into our penalty area from a free-kick or corner, it always seemed to end up in the back of our net. 

Can he play left-back? - Standard question asked when discussing any sentient being deemed to be an improvement on Ridgewell/Popov. Also applies when discussing training cones. 

Can Richardson play? - (at Old Trafford) Frequently asked question from the hard of reading on this bored. Referred to our successful loan signing of Kieran Richardson and whether he was eligible to play against Man Utd (his parent club) in our game at Old Trafford. Often used now as a sarcastic response whenever someone makes the mistake of asking the same question as has already been answered repeatedly on other threads.

Caprice? - Capiche? Understand?

Carp - rubbish!

Carson's Dad - aka Statto. The board expert on all goalkeeping matters (see also Sheff). Defender of all goalkeepers but particularly the hapless Scott Carson. Named Carson's Dad by Astlebridge after ludicrously defending another poor display.

Casual Clique, The - Recurring fred for the fashion conscious Ponner and ICF wannabe.

Cheap, nasty, lazy signing - BaggieNick's considered opinion of numerous signings e.g. Gareth McAuley.

Chilean Midget, The - Gonzalo Jara and his short fuse.

Chocolategate - rumpus caused when a former director (who was against Peace's takeover) was told not to bring in boxes of chocolates for the office staff, as liked to do each Christmas. Again this was held up as some kind of deliberate ploy by Peace to remove the soul of the club and was seen by some as akin to him changing our name to West Bromwich Wulfs... 

Clarkey Cat - Steve Clarke.

Clique, The - a collection of ponners aka The Legends. A sizeable number of longtime posters who over several years introduced and popularized many of the sayings and words in this lexicon. Driven away by a more aggressive and coarse element who arrived over a short period around 2009(?) and changed the feel of this board into one they felt alienated by. Still together, they are now to be found elsewhere where they engage in a gentler form of discourse. Some still lurk and, indeed, occasionally post on here, and when they do, they are always warmly welcomed. 

CLT - currently listening to. Random youtube music video which the poster is almost certainly not currently listening to as he could not be posting on this dump while CLT the said music.

CMD's Dad's Heels - legendary thread about David Cameron's heel-less father.

Coffee - apparently, they sell it in pubs to MCWs.

Colin - Colin W***er. Anagram of Neil Warnock. Unpopular figure detested by Albion fans ever since The Battle of Bramall Lane.

Coops - used to post fake ITK on the old bored, got abuse, flounced, set up the Zzzzone and now spends his time pretending he's not a Sandwell councillor. Allegedly.

Cornet - idiot. There are plenty on this idiot magnet.

Cow Diaries, The - An occasional series written by Bayliss in which he ruminated on the joys of tending to his neighbour's cattle. Alas, Bayliss, like the aforementioned cattle, has departed for pastures new.

CrAPtiON CoMPeTiTioN - Caption Competition.

Crikey! - Exclamation from this bored's trigger-happy World Football Correspondent T1t, Zizou. Its use often renders the subsequent use of a "Whoosh!" as superfluous.

Crisp Packet Hands - Scott Carson and his filleted wrists.

Crusty Cob - The 'Ist's real life brother. Loves his older sibling, always sides with him and defends him when he isn't around. Has almost as many bannings as him and returns under new identities after each one. Also referred to as just Crusty.

Currently drinking - recurring fred for the ponner who likes a beverage (alcoholic, not coffee).

Custard Bowl, The - The Molinyaow.

Dashworth - much missed former Director of Football, Dan Ashworth.

De-de-de-der <insert name of player> - making up songs for new players is sooooooo easy.

Do we still own Borja Valero? - to be brought up whenever an ex-player is mentioned.

Do you like Dexy's? - Oft repeated question to new posters. Derived from the former regular Camp Freddy's love for Dexy's Midnight Runners and his belief that you could judge the standard of a new poster as to whether they liked Dexy's or not. Often a response of "No" would mean you were shunned by The Clique...or accused of being Loyalist!

Don's Cortina - a reference to the Albion Scouting Network being based and run from Gary Megson's Dad's car. Fell into disuse after the sacking of Sir Gary and the rise of The Global Search.

Doom-mongers - predict relegation as an inevitability after each defeat, especially games where we rightfully expected at least a point e.g. away to Arsenal/Chelsea/Liverpool/Manchester etc. Usually seen at the forefront of Meltdowns. Polar opposite to happy clappers. See also WIM DOOMED.

Doris Clock (or Dorisometer), The - An ongoing count relating to the last time a certain Wulf paid us a visit. He'd come on and try to give it Johnny Big-Bollocks when us and The Dings were both in the PL. Not been seen much over the last 18 months or so. Last seen in China.

Dr Evil - Jeremy Peace. See also Volcanic Island Hideout.

Dump, (The/This) - Another name for this bored. Used in anger by people who are flouncing. Used in a cuddly way by the regulars.

E&D headlines - speculation of what the headline on the back pack of tomorrow's (Wolverhampton) Express & Star will be. The headline will put a negative spin on some good Albion news and build up some non-event at the Wulfs to frenzied levels with the aim of belittling the Baggies in the eyes of its Black Country readership.

Earnie Money - (as in "where's the Earnie money gone?") Based on a frequent question asked by some of the anti-Peace brigade when the chairman didn't sign a hundred new players immediately a window opened not long after we sold Robert Earnshaw. Is now often used sarcastically to reply to someone questioning the chairman's motives regarding spending money.

East Stand Car Park - where our new potential non-signings are spotted. Evidence must be provided in the form of their personalised car registrations. 

EBJT - England's Brave John Terry. Where would the national football team be without this Lionheart?

edisard - Stoke City WUM with awful teeth. Makes an appearance just before we play them and, naturally, just after they beat us. When he does come on here it always seems to be just after he's been down the pub and just before he's due to get jiggy with his missus/mum/sister. This bored must be his Viagara.

EDITED (no need to thank me) - added after a reply has been made to an earlier post but where an opportunity has been taken to modify the earlier post to make a pithy or more pertinent comment.

Eh? - Standard response. See also Problem pal?

1106, The (Eleven hundred and six) - The number of fans who had their Tuesday night ruined by travelling to Ipswich in awful weather to watch an RDM side bow out of the League Cup when a potential semi-final glory tie awaited. It came about because of the anger that RDM dared play a slightly weakened line up and comments like "Is he going to refund the 1106 loyal supporters who travelled?" and ignited the whole cup glory v league stability argument again...as it does after every cup defeat. Pray for the 1106. Light candles for the 1106. NEVER forget the 1106.

Exalt - I'm going to add to your 'Reputation'. See Smite.

FACT(S) - Always in capitals. Facts are great: they're there to show up opinions for what they really are.

FAQ off - For the attention of (sic). Based on a wonderful typo of FAO by Josh (just Josh).

Fanniesonline - Slightly altered name for 'fansonline', a virtual cave created by BAWS after his tyrannical regime met a bloody end. He'd refer to fanniesonline as a forum, most accurate description would be a 'blog' or 'having a word with yerself'. The longest lesson in stubbornly persisting with something to salvage pride ever witnessed.

Faw shaw - It most certainly is.

Fax machine - this always seems to run out of paper just when the club need it most i.e. transfer windows. Paper deliveries often sighted on the East Stand Car Park.

FFS - Used to describe former right back Martin Albrechtsen. A shortening of "It's Albertsen FFS"

FFS sake - for f***'s sake (sic)

Fickle horse fiddling Sandwell C**ts - Rather memorable insult delivered by a fan of our former rivals, Wolverhampton Wanderers, as he was being "shoed"... 

FIFA rating/stats, What's his/Here's his - conclusive evidence to show how poor/good a potential signing is, gleaned from the latest version of a popular gaming franchise. Non-gamers look blankly at their screens.

Filum - Film.

Fixed - A ponner will reply to a post (so it contains the original post) and edit the original ponner's post to "correct" it.

Flipchart - There was an interview with Paul Scharner where he said he had a flipchart on which he listed his life's objectives and aims. Sometimes provokes the question 'what does Scharner's flipchart say?'. See also mental strength.

Flounce - to depart from the bored community for an unspecified length of time; self-imposed exile, usually relating to frustration at the bored being an idiot magnet.

FNMN - Friday Night is Music Night thread. A drunken trawl through You Tube music videos, often with a common theme.

FODTW - f*** off down the Wulfs. In reference to not showing enough loyalty to the Brom brand and thus suggesting their support should not be accepted and thus relocate themselves at the Molinyaow.

Fred - thread.

Fridge, The - Romelu Menama Lukaku, see The Unit.

F*** off. Warn me. Who gives a f***? Ban me. Go on f***ing do it. - Shrek in full-on conciliatory mode during an epic meltdown that saw mulitple bans imposed only a day after 10-man Albion had crashed to a 2-0 defeat at runaway undefeted league leaders Chelsea. (See: http://www.wbaunofficial.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=35552 ) Only on here, eh? Don't fugg with the nodscaprice

Fuggin' - bored usage for a renowned swear word. Keep it clean for the junior baggies FFS Sake

FWIW - For what it's worth.

Games Clique, The - A clique for ponners who enjoy console gaming, particularly with the XBone

Geographical thing - The debate over who were the Albion's fiercest rivals ( Wolves or Villa? ) was long and heated. Forget history, forget tradition, forget who hates us most, forget who ay bothered about us. The answer is a geographical thing. This is the bored's equivalent to '47'.

Get <insert name> On Line One - In reference to a poster being notified of a particular thread's content, and them being potential 'experts' on said content. Not to be confused with 'An Experts View'.

Give <insert name> more time - Originates from defence of Simon Cox, a player who was taking a while to settle down. Used increadingly in his second season (and his first in Prem). Since been used for a succession of similar players.

Glass Doors, Meet you at the/Storm the - Often a call to arms when things are not going well down the Albion. Often heard during quiet transfer windows or when steps are painted yellow. Refers to the glass doors on the Halford's Lane as being the entry point for the powers that be at the club. They were the focal point of protests that occurred during the dark days of the early 90s - on one occasion, 2 protesters actually got inside but, realising they had no plan once inside, they quickly re-joined the throng.

Glastonbury - Duffman went once but doesn't like to talk about it. He might be going again, but who knows?

Global Search, The - Often used to describe our scouting department and their propensity for identifying players we've never heard of from foreign climes. Normally used sarcastically during the inevitable slow start to a transfer window. However most of us are actually quite proud of this aspect of our club. 

Gnurrrker, The - Tony Mowbray. A moniker bestowed upon him by Hawkings Halfpipe in his "Day in the Life of Tony Mowbray" series. The name was inspired by how Tony Mowbray sounded in TV/radio interviews.

Go Get 'Im Jezza! - plea to Roland when any player from any other team shows a hint of ability. 

Goal Calendar, The MAF - Sarcastic attempt to measure the scoring record of our erstwhile lone striker Marc-Antoine Fortuneh who was much better when he wasn't required to actually score goals.

Good pre-season: ALL players need one. FACT.

<grabs/gets popcorn> - reaction of posters and lurkers alike when trouble is brewing and intend to sit back and enjoy what is about to unfold. Usually found on non-footballing threads e.g. is hanging too good for paedos or what is there to be proud of the British national identity?

Great Choke, The - reference to the Wulfs bottling it in the 2001/02 season. With only 8 games left and trailing by 11 points, Albion reeled in the Wulfs to earn their first promotion to the Premier League. One of the greatest seasons in our club's history.

Great Escape, The - the 2004-05 season. Alecan led the Brom to a last-day "Great Escape", when we became the first Premier League club to avoid relegation having been bottom of the table at Christmas. The result from Charlton confirming safety was greeted with unbridled joy as thousands invaded the pitch.

Great Surrender, The - the 2005-06 season. Alecan led the Brom out of the Prem with a whimper partly due to a baffling reliance on the likes of an ageing Kevin Campbell (when we had Kanu available FFS!) and partly due to selling our (admittedly mardy) best striker at the end of the January transfer window but not replacing him.

Greetings/hello from <insert location> - Ponners who want to say hello whilst on their travels are obliged to start a thread with this title. Posting from a beach in some distant clime on their iPhone boosts their MCW status.

Guitar clique - a group of 6-string bandits who are infinitely cooler and better looking than most (says one of them).

HALESOWEN TRAMP BROTHERS -Legendary men of the road with Facebook tribute site. Rumoured to live on the verge on Manor Way / The Asda cafe.

Handball! - Informal standard bored greeting to anyone posting from the county of Norfolk.

Hands - derivative of Marek Cech's Healing Hands. Reference to the left back's mythical abilities to heal any Albion player's injuries.

Happy Clappers - fans deliriously content with everything at the Albion, on and off the pitch. Often caught rounding on any detractors who question tactics/team selection/transfers/colours of steps etc. Polar opposite of doom-mongers.

Has Athers Confirmed? - Board speak for suspicion that any apparent transfer ITK may prove to be b*****ks.

Have a Bronx hat - standard response. See Where's the money gone, Tom?

Have you tried turning it off and back on again? - The standard response to a technical electrical problem that a poster has asked for advice on. Best you don't ask really.

HBW - Head Bottle Washer aka Tony Pulis. How the man himself described his role at his first official press conference. See also TCP and Ambitious Dad.

He ay coming - Response to rumours that any player that isn't considered s*** coming to the Albion. See There's only one place he's going...

Headlocks - Favoured method of communication/persuasion employed by former manager (Sir) Gary Megson.

He looks good on youtube - the second point of reference (after FIFA stats ) when assessing whether the club should pursue a potential transfer target.

Hi Loyalist! - The official greeting to all new posters suspected of being WUMs. 

Hi Matt! - Common greeting for new posters. Based on the tradition of the poster Loyalist (aka real name Matt) (see 'Ist) always making a comeback under a new name after his last ban. All new posters are treated as him until proven otherwise...usually by them not posting anything sarcastic, provocative or aggressive towards an existing poster within their first 5 posts. 

Hoofwanking bunglecunt - P_K sums up the agent Willy McKay.

Hudd's - Refers to erstwhile poster Huddsbaggie who used to get very annoyed by the poor use of punctuation. This became the accepted spelling of his username to try and provoke a reaction. Hudd's was also known for his hard life growing up in the Black Country as a young man where he was forced to carry molten iron with his bare hands for 20 hours a day in the local foundry, his Adonis-like physique and his ability to annoy Woking Woodman by talking about owls in his garden. 


Hydropool - the place you're most likely to see Sick Vic. The state of it is enquired about if we are linked in the press with a player whose playing career has been blighted by injury.

I Blame <insert name> - Phrase used to imply a said individual is the reason for the current problem or meltdown. The said person is usually Jeremy Peace. Or Thatcher.

Idiot Magnet, The - Another name for this bored. Used in anger by people who are flouncing. Used in a cuddly way by the regulars.

ImberSEAL - Sundogism

In Peace - A hopeful term visiting supporters use when popping over to ask a genuine question. Does not save them from a shoeing. Like a red rag to a bull.

INCOMING!!! - Thread title when a signing is on the verge of being sealed. Usually initiated by someone with ITK information.

<insert any number>% ITD - Percentage of how much the poster is 'In The Dark' regarding a subject. 

<insert number>% ITK - In the know, preceded with percentage . Typed at the end of a FACT based post to advise just how FACTual it actually is. Used most commonly when speculating on possible transfers.

Irish Independent Farming Supplement - A regular feature submitted by Mayo containing the highlight headlines of each Tuesday's issue. 

Is he over 6 foot? - the first question asked about a possible signing ever since Tony Pulis became our head coach.

Is Roysh - I consider that to be correct.

Islamic radicalisation - just sex starved Muslims seduced by the promise of lots of virgins in heaven according to Joshhttp://www.wbaunofficial.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=39468&pid=435124#pid435124

'Ist, The - shorthand bored speak for a poster who used the original name of Loyalist.

It's Pardew!! - Spin-off from Strikerlight featuring a potential new Baggies manager...

Its Rife, Frank - Sundogism posted in complaint about insults or bad language.

I've forgotten more about football than you'll ever know  - phrase used by someone losing an argument and making themselves look a bit of a tIT at the same time. See also You have obviously never, EVER, kicked a ball.

Jacob - Claudio Yacob.

Johnny Foreigner - Player discovered via the gLOBAL sEARCH

Jokes - specifically one-liners, usually posted by PK. Not so much a definition this, more a note on etiquette. When PK (or other) posts a joke where a statement makes up the thread title and the punchline follows in the OP, you WILL NOT laugh or add to the ponner's reputation or show any sign that you enjoyed the joke. You WILL discuss various aspects of the joke with great solemnity as if it were an unremarkable statement of fact.

Josh (just Josh) - Josh was 16 year old or thereabouts who used to come on here and post things like "the Villa ave some gud young players" and got slaughtered for his nerve in posting anything positive about that pile of shyte in Witton.

Just Back... - Thread title that tells ponners that a review is coming, usually of the day's match, but not always. Implicit in the title is that the person conducting the review has actually been to the game and not watched it via some dodgy foreign stream or listened to a radio commentary, elevating themselves above armchair status.

JUST PAY THE F***ING MONEY! - Standard bored reaction to any transfer negotiation that takes longer than 24 hours. 

Just shows how far we've come - Very overused bored cliche after a poster has just described something good The Brom have done/tried. Usually comes in the transfer window when we are rumoured with a top player, or after a good performance against one of the top 6. 

Keep it clean for the junior Baggies - a practise that has largely since been ignored in the advent of phrases such as... well, you know what. 

Kiosks - As in "are the kiosks open tonight?". Used regularly to allow armchairs who decide at the last minute to make the trip to a game to enquire if tickets are available on the day of the game. Also a common typo for the poster Kiskos.

KirkDale - mythical poster and a genuinely witty troll who arrived from Liverpool (the better Blue half). Popularised/introduced the terms "Brom" and "Shoe". Friend of Zzav (dec'd).

Lavvro - popular misspelling of erstwhile BBC pundit, Mark Lawrensen, a regular and deserving target of the bored. 

Lepko - Nickname for local Albion sports writer Chris Lepkowski from Brum Mail. Often gets a lot of stick on here. Often defended by his mates from Twitter. Some of his journalistic phrases (Lepko-isms) have fallen into common usage on here . 

Lid/Lud = Lad.

<lights candle> - standard response to a Liverpool fan moaning... 

Linkarge - Linkage

Loffin' - that med me laugh a lot.

Lovely Soft Feet - Pre-requisite for any midfielder, attacking or otherwise, particularly during the Gnurrrker era.

Loyalist - poster who holds a high opinion of their own opinion (he's in the Top 1%). Known for playing t1t cricket and posting aggressively, provocatively and sarcastically towards regulars often as a supposed "new poster". Holds some fairly right wing views which resulted in early bannings. Now returns after creating a new email address and new username but generally stays out of trouble until someone hits the right nerve. Often gives himself away by boasting that he knows more about football cos he played at a "higher level" than others. See sentence 1 in this description.

Lump on - The signal for gamblers to place their stakes.

LUMP, THE - THE bet after Heath and Bayliss spotted a cock up on the price for GMAC as Player of the Season on Bodog. The whole bored were lined up to lump on at the same time in order for all to get the best odds. Within seconds, the odds tumbled and the bet crashed the online website, eventually bankrupting the company (or so the legend goes).

Lurkers - we know you're reading this.

Maccad/Maccala - banned poster Maccad123. A Liverpool supporting Scouser who added often interesting perspective from outside of WBA. Sadly, get him on the topics of Luis Suarez and Roy Hodgson and he lost objectivity. He hated SOW, so much that it was his repeated attacks on him that finally got the t1t banned. <Lights candle> .

MAF -Marc Antoine Fortuneh.

March, The - The March to Molineux. An example of this bored at its finest, where the great and the good walked the 10.6 miles from The Shrine to the Custard Bowl in support of Acorns Children's Hospice before a BCD. Initiated by Dharma Albion by way of thanks for the care provided to his brave daughter Emma. The good karma generated no doubt contributed to the 1-5 drubbing dished out later that afternoon and which has since passed into legend.

Mattock... MATTOCK! - Outburst from Lee the Baggie on post-match phone-in to Tom Ross after the left back was torn a new one at Bristol City.

MBO - Master of the Bleeding Obvious. Awarded to posters who post something that is stating the, erm, bleeding obvious.

MCW - Middle Class Wanker. Used to describe anyone who owns an Apple product, shops at Waitrose, eats hummus, drinks coffee in pubs, drives a BMW, lives in Berkshire etc.

MPW - Million Posts Wanker. Reference to ponners suffering from Posting Tourettes. Excellent petty sniping from Herby McFly.

MeLTdOWn - Mass hysteria, usually witnessed following a defeat or any minor setback. Or the wrong players on the bench:http://www.wbaunofficial.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=38880 or having a game involving rolling subs: http://www.wbaunofficial.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=29568&highlight=rolling+subs

Mental strength - mystical attribute of Paul Scharner whose sheer force of will could fell 2 players with one tackle.

Mini Fridge, The - Stéphane Sessègnon. See also Sausagefun and The Fridge.
[Image: WBA-Sessegnon-Mini-Fridge.jpg]

Minstrel - poster who frequently baited other posters with inflammatory statements concerning Dr Evil. His confrontational style and boastful MCW oneupmanship culminated in the mother of all Whooshes from which he refused to back down from and resulted in him requesting the Nods ban him and close his account (which they did with gleeful haste). His legacy is a series of Minstrelisms found elsewhere in this Lexicon.

Monster Truck, The - Romelu Lukaku. The Unit 2 came on as a sub against Spurs and ran them ragged until eventually Mozza scored. A Spurs fan commented afterwards that we had brought on a Monster truck instead of a player.

Mother of All Press Conferences, The - A fictional event where a plethora of signings will all be unveiled to the press:
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NAP - Nonner Avoidance Patrol. The philantrophic duty of the sometime poster Mayo to ensure no-one's feelings were hurt if being ignored by replying to potential "nonners" with something followed by 'NAP'. 

Nod - derivative of Noderator. Moderator of forum. A title given to the more easy going overseers of This Dump who remained following the removal of BAWS and his reign of terror. Someone who would rather nod a post through than ban the population of Bristol. 

Non-goalscoring goalscorer - The kind of strikers our scouting team often look for. Ones who are not good in front of goal but still do a job for the team. cf Marc Antoine Fortuneh, Victor Anichebe.

Nonner - a thread with no replies.

Nonner Buster - post that breaks the Nonner.

"No-one else wanted him" - The stick used to beat any new signing whom a poster does not rate. 

NSFW - Not Suitable For Work. Post contains graphic images that may include breasts or genitalia, naked or otherwise, but none the less anyone who sees your screen will say WTF? Should really go in The Wastegrounds forum.

Onions? - Opinions? Typo from Josh, just Josh

Or he's just signed for Chelsea - This is a more recent version of the "There's only one place he's going...", after the Izzy Brown saga in which an Academy player on the verge of breaking into the PL squad was whisked away for a little over £200k. Latterly used after a player has tweeted something along the lines of "good news".

Overpaid Nancy Boys - England F.C.

PC Portmao - After PC Portman who is a real life WMP Officer who travels everywhere with Albion fans acting as a spotter and intelligence against the more unruly elements of our support. Treated with contempt by many of those who have felt his wrath (some of the Casual Clique). He's seen as a bit of a snidey f***pig. The spelling of Portmao is a clever play on words with regards to Chairman Mao and abusing power (first applied to bored administrator Birdmao).

Peace wants relegation - Minstrelism. Claim made by Minstrel, self-proclaimed financial expert, despite this concept being in clear contradiction of every economic law. Never substantiated (see also: You wouldn't understand).

Peacock Clique - posters who dress up as Rupert the Bear to go to a football match.

Pedals - some ponners buy bicycles without them. It's true.

Pelanty - (sic) penalty (pl. pelanties)

Penalty Sheff Wed thread - memorial thread to remember those posters who are no longer with us. Started as a tribute to SambaApe who was tragically killed in an accident. His final post was kept "alive" by posters ever since with regular "bumps" up to the top of the bored. This has been kept going across many different incarnations of the bored and has also encompassed the passing of other posters such as Rich68 the inventor of the Baggies Barge. A great example of the more postive side of this bored that is not often seen but is always there. RIP former posters everywhere. 

Penis Von Spunkface - Hawkins Halfpipe corruption of the name of one-time transfer target Ricky van Wolfswinkel.

petty sniping - this dump's raison d'être. Stems from bitterness and normally peaks if there is no football to look forward to at the coming weekend, often culminating in the bored nods imposing bans. Witness this example: The Boat Race

Pffft - A representation of contempt.

+1 - Showing agreement on previously posted content. Various numbers can be employed to emphasise agreement. 

POLISH GIRLS - much advertised marriage proposals in banner ads on this dump circa 2010 : politically unacceptable and thought to be extinct until resurfaced in a Hagley Road chippie. 

Ponner - a term of endearment and mild abuse used amongst The Legends. 

Ponner's Corner - an area at the back of The Vine where long time (now nearly all ex-) posters on here congregate before and after Albion home games. 

Ponner's Podium - On the old forum, in association with a ponner hitting the heights and having his post pulled out and quoted on the original home page of site.

Porcelain - refers to a comment by a poster about how shabby the Halfords was looking a while ago and has been used ever since to talk about relatively insignificant things that are wrong with the club which are often blown up out of all proportions by some of the Anti-Peace brigade. See also yellow steps.

Posters as <insert topic> - thread initiated by Mayo where posters were matched to well known characters in a film/book/TV program e.g. Posters as characters in Lord of the Rings. Lists would read as a Who's Who of The Clique

Problem pal? - You don't agree then? See also Eh?, Wha?

Project, The - The Gnurrrker's life long desire to turn us into a tippy tappy wet dream who maintained 100% possession, never made a tackle, never lifted the ball above head height, never passed more than 5 yards, refused to try to score from set pieces and never defended a set piece correctly. Tony referred to his project a few times and this was used mercilessly against him forever more. 

Pulis type player - you have to be over 6 foot tall, powerful, 'aaaaardworking, good in the air, not trained with a football for at least 2 seasons and know every dirty trick in the book, if you want to make it on HBW's list of transfer targets.

<>pumps fist<> - added to post to signal passion. Largely attributed to ex-left back Paul Robinson. See The Badge Kisser.


Randy Seal, The - Aston Villa Chairman, Randy Lerner.
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Read the bottle - Standard reply to any thread asking for Tablet advice. See also Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

Red flagged & reported - The old way to complain/grass about a particular post or poster. Usually said after a post is made that is vaguely racist but isn't really.

Regis played a blider - (sic) Sundogism. He had a shot at a lazy fuggin journo (citation needed) who, following a mid week evening game that we lost against Arsenal, wrote in the Mirror or the Express that "Regis played a blinder" when in fact "he was injured and didn't play at all!!".

Rerecord, not Fade Away - a standard response to some of the monotonous and lesser interesting threads, examples being 'where the money (has) gone, Tom' and the death penalty. 

Rich Tea - Rich Healey aka Rich68. Board legend and tea dealer, pioneer of the Baggies barge and all round lovely guy. RIP. 

Rios - or 'he's done a Rios'. Stems back to when Albion were on the verge of signing Athletico Madrid and Spain centre half Roberto Rios only for him to choose retirement instead.

Rivals - the original bored of Wbaunofficial. Every football club had a respective bored on Rivals and a user Id for one bored would allow you to post on any bored. Consequently, there were occasionally bored invasions.

Roland - Jeremy Peace (his middle name).

Rounders - Baseball. Thread, for those who appreciate the finer points of the American ball game. 

Run My Bollocks Up The Clock - Something you do when you're very, VERY angry. But don't try it at home, The Kids.

<insert name> runs the door here - Entry to either a real location or area of The Clique.

Salt - No poster on here will exceed their salt intake. Not on Morley's watch. His expertise came to the fore when Baggie69 described how a chap in his office used to empty a new packet of Cup-A-Soup into the half finished previous Cup-A-Soup and just add water. Morley worked out that on Cup-A-Soups alone, the man was over 3 times the RDA of salt.

Sauce - Source? Asked to provide a link to back up ITK information.

Saudi - Saido Berahino.

Sausagefun - Stéphane Sessègnon. See also The Mini Fridge.

SClub7 - Paul Scharner's mystery 7 clubs that he would have been allowed to talk to as included in his self-negotiated contract.

Scotch pryck! - Insult delivered by one of less intellectual posters towards the Stockton born, former manager Tony Mowbray. Presumably thought that as we got him from Hibs that meant he was a naturalised Scot or summat?!! Used tongue in cheek ever since...

Seal Sanctuary, The - Veeeeella Park

Second Tier, The - reference to plans by the club (since put on hold) to add a second tier to the existing Halfords Lane stand to boost capacity to over 30,000. The subject arouses great passions amongst those for and against the proposals with both sides claiming "if we build it, they will come" (sarcastically, in the case of the naysayers).

Secret Board, The - A mythical place where only a select few ponners are allowed to post. Clique only. It is believed that former bored legends still post there.

£70k Audi - Minstrelism. Vehicle of choice for the discerning MCW

SGM - Sir Gary Megson. Knighted by Albion fans for services to WBA FC after being bestowed the mediaeval title of Lord of the Manor of West Bromwich.

Sheff - official commentator on all refereeing matters.

Shirley - surely. Nicked from the filum 'Airplane'.

Shoe - Retribution delivered to a poster for a stupid/idiotic or just plain wrong post. Should always be supported with FACTS 

Sick Vic - reference to Victor Anichebe and his fragile body. See Hydropool.

Sid - Sid Collins. Original owner of the bored (well at least the Rivals one many on here started reading and posting on). Good bloke, very chilled out, always posted sense. Struggled to maintain a leash on BAWS to prevent him from banning everyone. Understandably took a back seat (probably tired of all the schoolboy shite!!- plus the threats of legal action from Proboards) when Birdy came along after the old versions of the bored became obsolete or unusable. Without him this place would not be what it is. 

Sign him up! - usually a plea to Baldy to get his head out of his arse and bring a satisfactory conclusion to contract negotiations with an existing player. See also Go Get 'Im Jezza.

SIX@@@!!! - used to express expectation that a thread would continue for many pages (6 at least). 

Skills - El Ghanassy had them, FACT! He said so: "I have some skills and I promise the team some skills. I expect that if I play some games, a lot of people will come and love my skills, and I hope that some people in West Brom will come and watch my skills."

skysportshoite - Sky Sports News.

sly - sometimes written #sly. See SOW.

Smeeeerrshhhh! - a sound emitted by The Gnurrrker.

Smite - I'm going to knock down your 'Reputation'. See Exalt.

S M O K E S C R E E N - seen during transfer windows. Just to put West Ham and Birmingham City off the scent of our true targets. Sly old Roland.

Snakepit, The - Section of teenage, spotty Norwich fans who were incensed at Kieron Richardson's goal celebration. "The snake pit went wild". 

Sniff - taken by some, sold by others. 

SNOT GOBBLING LIAR - posted by bored "golden oldie" Sundog as almost a term of endearment. 

Snowing in Reading - with the extreme weather conditions they experience, Berkshire Baggies have it harder than the rest of us.

SOTV - s*** on the Veeeella

SOW - Sly Old Woy a.k.a. Roy Hodgson. Dates back to when Fulham took Jonathan Greening on a season-long loan with a view to permanent. Fulham fans were not overly impressed with Johnno but came to the conclusion that Roy Hodgson, then their manager, was taking the opportunity to have on a season-long trial but then return him at the end of the loan - "sly old Roy" they said. Sadly for them (and hilariously for us), they didn't know Roland and 12 months later £4m duly went into the coffers. Kerr-ching!!!

Space goat - scapegoat (typo accredited to Backside_Baggie).

Steel flask - accessory of choice when sitting in the Halfords. See also tartan rug.

Strikerlight - A sitcom commissioned, but never produced, that would have stared a wide selection of the clubs 'Non Goalscoring Goalscorers', see Marc Antoine Fortuneh.

Stumpy - Refers to; Cristian Esteban Gamboa Luna. A formidable Costa Rican Right Back / Wing Back, purchased during 14/15 season after a decent showing in the World Cup and given the nickname of Stumpy due to an article in a national newspaper "Gamboa reckons he is TOO SHORT" stating that he is not tall enough for HBW's back four. The nickname was coined by Baggie66 in this post http://www.wbaunofficial.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=40183&pid=444189#pid444189

SUMS - Derivative of MAF. (accreditation disputed)

Sundog - Well worn poster originally known as Ginko , then Sundog , Skallywag and more recently Rommel. Appearance resembling Captain Birdseye. Really a Bluenose , Gordon Hornblower Sundog stumbled across the Albion message board in error but decided to stop. Legendary mis spelt ( sic ) rants and use of CAPITALS and !1!!! have given us the wonderful and abundant Sundogisms that are still in use today.

Sundogging - Either impersonating or quoting Sundog. Quotes include "A Feint Heart Never F**ked Pig" and "Shaking like Sh*tting Dog!"

Super bob - NOT the player. Contradicting the basic laws of supply and demand this poster requests a scarce/high value item be made readily available at a below market value price (and usually succeeds). May also request YOU pay HIM for taking said item off your hands. Also known as a cheekyfugger.

superfans - fans who are willing to go anywhere and everywhere to watch the Albion play, no matter how insignificant the game. It is a FACT that there are 1106 superfans of WBA.

Tactics Timmy - Tim Sherwood. See also ArryTheCunt Mk. II.

Tamashed - Exceedingly drunk, just like Romainian ex international Gabriel Tamas.

<taps nose> - a comment that backs up 

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