Create-your-own A Day In the Life of Slaven Bilic

[HawkingsHalfpint]

.....What should Slaven do?

Feed the chickens. Go back to bed. Shag the tits of his girlfriend. Bang her again so he's at one with his day.

Turn up late for training. Headbutt Dowling on his way to the training ground dungeon. Release Cedric Kipre. Put Cedric back in the dungeon once he's put the cones out.

Watch the players do five a side for ten minutes before releasing Cedric to pack the cones away. Put Cedric back in the dungeon before heading to the Bell to get skullfucked behind closed doors on JD and absinthe with the squad. Minus Cedric.

Go home. Feed the chickens again. Pray to Davor the elephant before returning to the bedroom to bang the bint again. Just another day .........

My work here is done! 

---

Slowly it dawned upon s Slav that he was faced with a  false choice. "Sranye," he muttered to himself. It was brilliant: feeding the chickens with ham-face would hit two weasels with the same sponge, as we say in Croatian. But how would he get Ham-face into the chicken coop?

An Emirates Platinum card would do the trick...

[johntoewba]

I cannot breath. Genius pure genius

[Twobags Norvegicus]

I went with the chicken option

Great work HH...bizarre but great all the same

[HawkingsHalfpint]

It's a tight race at a dozen each.

Part two will follow the post-match pant wetting. I'll take the result at full-time as our hero's fate.

Stay tuned! Or stay something. Safe, I think.

[HawkingsHalfpint]

At 14 votes to 13, Slav takes the call!

Part 2 to follow soon folks. As soon as my arse contracts (and lAVVRO is nowhere in sight).