Divorce / selling a house

[fuzzbox]

Not knowing the circumstances, but I'd be wary of this.

I was in a similar situation with my first wife.

Luckily, I get on with my first wife, but I was always concerned that she would turn round and tell my kids that I 'made them homeless' or forced them to live in some 'shit-hole'. I'd heard too many stories of divorces that had started off amicable, turned nasty and now they could no longer see their kids - despite what the courts said. I wasn't willing to risk it.

Conversely, if she rented somewhere nice, I'd end up having to pay even more anyway.

On top of that, solicitors know how to rack bills up in a way that would make most professions blush.

I wish I had a better solution - it sounds like a crap situation and grossly unfair.

[Offside]

I've been through years of this shit and know a fair bit about how the legal system works. On the one hand you should each have got a solicitor and drawn up a legally binding separation agreement. On the other hand it would have cost a fortune and without doubt ended in confrontation, threats and world war 3. It always does when solicitors get involved. And as previously mentioned, they know how to charge in two minute sections. Even assistants cost about £400 per hour.

If you get to court, the number one priority will be the wellbeing of the kids. Full stop. Technically assets are a 50% split, but when kids are involved the judge will ensure that the kids are a priority and that the parents must provide a home for them. The court will also have to approve financial support, usually while they are in full time education, with the onus on the main earner, usually the man, to do most of the providing financially.

My advice for what it is worth is go to mediation rather than court. The judge will ask if you tried mediation before you decided to waste the court's time when they could be dealing with something more important. Because that's how they look at it.

Just google " family mediation " and you will find a local company who can help. Or go to https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/ It is a couple of grand to get it all sorted usually, as opposed to about twenty grand in court by the time the legal bills are all settled. The agreement is binding just the same as if you had gone to court. But you can only go to mediation if both parties are willing. You will get a free initial session to start the process.